I never had kids of my own.  I always said I'd have kids when you could put them away until they were teenagers because I didn't want to deal with poopy diapers, sticky fingers and cheese sandwiches stuck in the VCR.

Lo and behold... when I met my wife she had three kids who were 12, 14 and 15 years old!  Careful what you wish for!  Fifteen years later I now consider them my kids.  And none of the poopy diaper, sticky finger, cheese sandwich stuff, either!

And then it happened... I hadn't even thought about this... GRANDkids!  What?  A whole new generation of sticky, poopy, sandwich lovin' VCR hatin' people coming up through the stepkids.  Damn.

Now, not only have I never raised my own kids, but I was also an only child as well.  I have NO experience with little kids at this point in my life.  The first time someone tried giving me my grandson I wanted to hold him upside down by his ankle as far away from me as possible (he might poop, ya know)... I mean, NO experience and very uncomfortable around kids.

It's now almost four years later and, I have to say, funny how time changes things.  What I've found out about kids is that I'm one of them.  I have no problem relating on their level.  Somehow it comes very naturally to me.  I still have nothing to do with diapers, don't like sticky fingers, and a cheese sandwich is hard to get in a DVD player, but... as far as hangin' with the under four generation - I'm IN!

What I've found is there are just those times with kids when things happen that can touch your heart like nothing else can.

I love the period right before they fall asleep, either watching TV on the couch or reading books with them.  Sometimes we just lay on the bed together and look at the glow stars on the ceiling as they drift off to sleep.

Last weekend we were watching the glow stars, my granddaughter Arden was already asleep and my grandson Ben was getting there.  He likes falling asleep in my arms.  He turned to me and whispered very quietly... in that voice that three year olds have when they whisper, "Grampa, I love you all the way to outer space"...

Wow... I hope you have all had, or can experience that some time in your lives.  Because at that moment there was (and is) nothing I wouldn't do for that kid.

So I held him tighter...

And he hugged me back...

And I whispered, "Me, too, buddy... Me, too..."

After years of thought and never quite coming up with the exact idea that would actually drive me to see it through... I've begun work on a book.  In the past year or so three idea came to me and the impulse to start writing was so strong I can no longer deny it.  So I picked the idea I thought would resonate with the most people, put together an outline and started writing!

Book #1 will be called FEED YOUR ANGEL.  It's based on a concept that came to me while speaking to treatment groups and people in recovery.  That concept is this: We've all seen in movies or cartoons the image of a demon on one shoulder and an angel on the other.  The dichotomy between good and evil... usually portrayed as a 50/50 battle, pretty even.  That isn't really how it works for most people, though.  One side or the other usually takes a majority rule over time.

For example, in my own life I started using drugs and alcohol when I was 14... FOURTEEN!!!  By the time I was 28 I was a full blown alcoholic and addict.  I had days where I shut my phone off, pulled all the shades, laid in bed and hoped to die.  The drugs fed my demon.  The demon had control... and my will to live had become THAT weak.

An amazing series of events occurred in 1988 that led me into treatment, AA and sobriety.  I've been clean since Nov 1, 1988... over 21 years now.  The actual act of quitting was the easy part.  At that point I had been using drugs & alcohol over half my life and the demon had grown to immense proportion.  I had a 300 pound demon on steroids on one shoulder and an angel on life support on the other.  My self-talk was still very negative, full of why I couldn't do things.  I needed to start feeding my angel!

So I began reading and meditating 2 hours a day and going to weekly AA meetings.  I've read hundreds of positive thinking and self help books, listened to quite a few tape & CD series as well - I had a lot of catching up to do!  What I've found is that your thoughts will create your reality.  Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right.

When I first cleaned up decisions were still hard to make.  It wasn't so easy to follow my heart because after years with my demon in control the voice of my angel was still very weak.

Life for me is all about passion, energy, commitment to excellence and doing what you can to make the world a better place.  Your thoughts WILL create your reality.  The book intends to show you many ways to help be a positive force for yourself, your family and your community.  If you'd like to track my progress links to the website, Facebook and Twitter pages follow.  I started the sites and wrote this blog to cement my commitment to myself to see this through.

There are many reasons this could fail... I've never written a book before, I'm busy with other things and might never find the time to do it, I have no idea how to get a book published once written, etc, etc...

And then there's this little, nagging thought I have... in the back of my mind... It says to me: "David, write this book.  This is a concept people can grasp and hold on to.  It will affect those who read it immensely.  And it will fulfill one of your lifelong dreams"...

Wish me luck!  I'm focusing on the latter paragraph :)

WEBSITE: http://www.feedyourangel.com
FACEBOOK: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Feed-Your-Angel/108290695884005
TWITTER: http://twitter.com/feedyourangel